Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
You smell like stripper and shame
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
