when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
