those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
