i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize