Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
