just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
