Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
