Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
We smell like vodka and hangover
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