its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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