yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize