I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
