your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
