had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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