check it out our google latitudes are spooning
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
