Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize