that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
