I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
