we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
my shit smells like andre
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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