like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
