I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
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