Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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