I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
