I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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