i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
