Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
