tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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