I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
