Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
