it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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