sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
