69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
