I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
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