i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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