she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
