found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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