We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
It's official drugs can't kill me
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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