i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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