It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
