There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
We were destined to go to rehab together
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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