maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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