So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
