It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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