You're completely useless in the revolution.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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