shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
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