Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize