"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
