It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
