all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
