no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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