I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Randomize
