I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
