We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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