That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
