don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
