Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
