Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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