I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
soo... how was my night?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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