how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
