you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
