if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize