I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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