I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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