Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Randomize
