She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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